Thankful...

Ever wake up and your heart is just so full of thankfulness that you feel that you might explode?  A morning when you can actually physically FEEL it boiling over and HEAR it spilling out of your mouth? 

I absolutely adore, love, live for these kinds of mornings.

They don't happen every day.  Sometimes they don't even happen every week.  When they do happen, I can't help but shout it from the roof tops.

I'm thankful for the little things...
~ sun (it's shining brightly and all the doors and windows are feeding me fresh air)
~ house (even tho it's dirty and cluttered from camping)
~ time (coffee time, Bible reading time, snuggle time)
~ fridge full of good (healthy) food
~ football pads (I do love watching my boys play AND they are currently injury free)
~ my Keurig (self-explanatory)
~ Green Mountain Coffee Company (maybe this should go under big things?)

And I'm thankful for the big things...
~ health
~ kids
~ my Bible
~ husband
~ family
~ mother
~ furloughs are over at the shipyard (for now)
~ prayers
~ God's provision, His mercy, forgiveness and presence
~ my patience with Josh's extreme stubbornness this morning

I woke with a grateful heart and began thanking Him for these things and more.  I made a mental list to draw from as the day moves forward.

All too often, when I get busy and stressed and annoyed and hear my name being called 31 million times (usually followed by the words "where is...."), I lose sight of all the blessings in my life.  Instead, I concentrate on the clutter in every corner, the mess on the dining room table, the empty checkbook or the tone with which someone spoke to me and probably didn't mean a thing by it but I spend and awful lot of time trying to figure out what I did wrong and correct it. 

In other words, I try too hard to be too much to too many people when I should be trusting God to be everybody's all.  He is capable.  I am not.

The Bible clearly states...

This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

It DOESN'T say to rejoice IF we have a lot of money (or even enough to pay the bills) and nobody is sick... or IF the house is clean and the kids are well behaved... or IF the lawn is mowed and there's no chicken poop anywhere... or IF Josh decides to feed himself 7 meals in 3 hours... or IF (insert your own issue here because we all have a whole myriad of issues that steal our joy and our gratefulness... some bigger than others but none less important).

And wanna hear something even more overwhelming to think upon?  The verse just before that states...

This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.  Psalm 118:23

It completely overwhelms my heart to think that all those IF's that so quickly steal our joy have been ordered by the Lord for our well being.  I mean... how can not having enough money to pay the bills be for our well being?  How can being sick with something nobody can figure out be for our well being?  I sure don't have all the answers... but I rest in the fact that God says so.


Of course that doesn't mean I don't struggle.  I sure do struggle.  But today I'm not struggling (not yet anyway) and I'm thankful. 

What are YOU thankful for today?  Please share, I'd love to hear it.

I made every effort to find a photo to share with this post.

I don't love sharing photos of myself.

This is how my heart feels this morning.

I tried to make other photos fit.

They didn't.

I can't help it.

Love,

Susan

My girl...

On a beautiful August morning (much like this one), 12 years ago today, my daughter was born. 

A daughter.

After having 2 boys, I questioned the doctor when he announced it because I couldn't believe it.  I didn't care if I had another boy, but deep down inside I think I desired a daughter.  God blessed me a million times over with this one.

That morning was followed by a long, loud, stressful, sleepless 9 months (did I mention long?).  Abby cried morning, noon and night.  She cried in the car, in her swing and in my arms.  She cried long and hard.  The boys even asked (begged and pleaded) if she could go back in my belly. 

She gets upset when we tell the story but the ONLY quiet we got during those 9 (long) months was when her dad buckled her in her car seat or swing, put her in the dark, in the den, turned the music volume up to around 45 and played continuously changing psychedelic shapes on the computer screen in front of her face. 

(Poor sweet baby was probably literally scared stiff and couldn't cry... couldn't even move...but ohhhhh, it was glorious silence.)

I typically don't like loud music, but I like it a whole lot better than crying baby.  Our house shook as the 4 of us leisurely ate dinner around the table, had conversation, enjoyed each other like there was no music.  Amazing what you can block out when you have little kids. 

And then I blinked.

And now she's 12. 

And beautiful.  And sweet.  And a good friend.  And funny.  And helpful.  And sensitive.  And humble. And compassionate.  And fun to be around. 

(And no, she's not all those things all the time.  She's also almost a teenager a good deal of the time... but I wouldn't want to miss a day of it.)

Watching her grow and change is scary to me (as with the boys), but it's something I'm trying to embrace and enjoy every minute of. 

When she's frustrated, I try to encourage. 


When she giggles over boys, I try to giggle too (that one's hard because I'd rather move into a cave with her).

When she can't find anything to wear, I try to remind her that God sees her heart and she could wear a bag over her head and please Him (that one never works by the way... it usually ends up with her in tears because she can't find just the right outfit).

When she feels close to God, I rejoice with her.

She's finding her way. 

There are times that are hard to watch and there are times I wish I could stop the clock and watch forever...

Abby...
I love you.  Happy Birthday, my girl. I have 2 wishes for you today.

First, I wish for you to always follow God to the best of your ability.  Always put Him (and then others) first and keep your heart wide open to what He has for you.  His way is ALWAYS best (even if it gets hard or you're the only one going in that direction). 

And secondly, I wish for you to always know how loved and cherished you are.  Always.  You are beautiful... both inside and out.  Tuck that truth away for those days when you feel otherwise because we both know they will come. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do for me and others in our home.  You are the VERY BEST big sister to Josh.  He adores you completely.  You often put everyone else first and that doesn't go unnoticed Abby... I see it.  But, more importantly, God sees it. 

I hope you have a fabulous 12th birthday.  And if a gun makes you happy, then it makes me happy. 

Love,
Mom