and then I blinked.
Honestly, I know everyone says it... but time sure DOES fly. Some days seem long (and hard), but the weeks, months and years just pass. And we can't have them back, as much as we'd like to.
When Caleb was a baby, he used to love being close to me. He couldn't get close enough. He'd take his pudgy little fingers and play with my hair, or rub my arm and... you know what... that used to drive me crazy. I longed for the day when he didn't need to be rubbing my arm for comfort, to stop crying or to fall asleep.
What I wouldn't give for those pudgy little fingers to be rubbing my arm again.
I'm so incredibly thankful that he still likes to be close. He isn't a teenager that can't stand his parents. In fact, I think he kinda enjoys us. He's so much fun to spend time with when it's just the two of us (which is very rare). He's witty and sensitive and funny and even a little compassionate. He doesn't need to rub my arm anymore, but he does give big hugs all the time... just because. Those are the best kind.
Last night, I listened to he and Jon talk for at least an hour in the living room. They talked about football and hunting and driving a car and God. They laughed and listened to each other. They made my heart happy.
Because he is our first, we sure have made mistakes... yelled too much, not often enough, let him get away with things we shouldn't have, stifled his little spirit... all those things... but God has always been good, merciful and close. He has used Caleb to teach us things and we'd like to think that He has used us to teach Caleb things.
I thought I loved you 16 years ago (and I did), but I had no idea how much having you in my life would change me. I'm so proud of who you are becoming and it has been so fun to be your mom. You are good at many things Caleb, God has blessed you greatly in many areas, but don't ever forget to put Him first. Even when it's hard. Even when you're the only one doing it. Even when you don't want to do it.
Seek Him. Work hard. Be good. Keep making people laugh. Be nice. Help others.
Thank you for making me laugh when I don't want to laugh and thank you for complimenting me when you can see I need a compliment. Thank you for hugging me every day.
I love you,Mom