I'm not sure exactly what I mean by that comment. I have so many thoughts, feelings, emotions all jumbled up that I don't even know what to write. But I feel like writing.
So you'll just have to bear with me (or click escape... I won't mind).
Last week was a roller coaster of emotions with my mother having a stroke and being hospitalized for nearly a week. I felt like I was hit by a 2x4... that being the realization that my mother is 86 (just a couple of weeks shy of 87). A LOT of people do not live to be 86 years old. How blessed am I to have my mother still walking this earth with me? Still answering the phone bright and early in the morning when I call... or calling ME if I missed a day because she's worried. Still asking me how I'm doing and how my kids are doing and how my husband is doing and how my inlaws are doing and how the dog is doing... not giving much thought to how she's doing. How blessed am I?
I have always called my mother a living and breathing miracle. You see, when she was a young girl, she was very very sick with pneumonia. When Josh gets pneumonia, we give antibiotics and he's good to go. But back then, that wasn't the case. She tells the story that she was literally on her death bed with her family surrounding her, praying. She said she remembers the bed well, how sick she was, how frail she was, how worried her family was. Then, she said, she just sat up and was all better. Just like that. She had been sick for a long time... very sick... and then she sat up and was all better.
Of course I wasn't there and do not know the extent of any medication she had been given or if she had been improving prior to sitting up, etc... but she has told the story many times over the years and it never changes. Her siblings and her mother have told and retold the story... it's always the same.
Fast forward to recent years and her diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. Her hands are severely crippled from the horrible disease. She has lumps and bumps all over her body from the horrible disease. But do you want to know something? She has no pain. Rheumatoid arthritis is a horrible disease and causes horrible pain... but she has none.
And now she has had a stroke. Her MRI showed many spots on her brain, both lobes, both front and back and was not consistent with her symptoms. Her symptoms resolved quickly and left us all shrugging our shoulders as to why her brain looks like it does. Surely she should have slurred speech and paralysis. Surely she should stumble when she walks or be just a little bit wobbly. Surely it's her heart... but her heart is strong and steady and completely normal. So why? What? How?
As she was trying to figure things out on her own just a day or two ago, I told her that I think God allowed this just to show Himself... and show Himself He did. Greatly. Mightily. Mercifully. He wants us to trust Him... He wants my mother to trust Him fully and with her whole heart. He wants my siblings and myself to see His works and speak of them and trust Him fully and with our whole hearts.
Today I understand a little better that my mother is almost 87 and am so grateful that she continues to be healthy and spunky and funny and pain free. Often our problems... with health, finances, kids (insert your own issues cause we all have them)... are what drive us to God. They are what cause us to cry out to Him and realize our need for Him. But sometimes He uses other things... and with me He's using my mother's life. Her full, healthy, long life.
Not bad for an old lady, right ma?
Meme & Caleb
(her baby's 1st baby... there has always been a special bond)
('scuse the pajamas but it IS Christmas morning...
and I love my mom's smile here)
Their birthdays are 75 years and 14 days apart...
might as well celebrate together.
Neither of them will be happy with this photo
(but I love it)
Jared's 5th grade promotion
So glad Meme was with us and that someone took this
(favorite of mine) photo
My mother is a true treasure. She is lovely and kind and compassionate... but she is all of that because of God and His work in her. My prayer as that He continues to bless her... but, more importantly, to draw her (and others) closer to Him day by day, problem by problem, blessing by blessing...