Thursday, February 14, 2013

The good, the bad and the ugly...

Going to Children's Hospital in Boston takes a lot out of me.  My stress is heightened and I go from being SO incredibly grateful for the blessings that surround me to being incredibly sorrowful at what I see there.

Today was no different.

The faces were different from those I had seen before, but the IV poles, bandaged bodies and frowns were the same.  There is always something worse, always someONE worse... it's overwhelming... and then I get giddy because we HAVE come a long way and ARE so blessed.  I told you... emotional doesn't even begin to cover how I feel toward that place.

I came home and had a good, long, hard, ugly cry... and now I'm smiling (and exhausted).  Aren't you glad you're not married to me?  

Anyway... Josh's hip...

The Good News... Dr. Kim reviewed the x-rays from last time and ordered new ones.
He does NOT (repeat... does NOT) see any evidence of arthritis.  There ARE some changes that COULD be consistent with arthritis, but there are typically other things that show up as well... none of which Josh has.  The hip joint itself, while looser than he wishes it was, is fairly stable.  Dr. Kim couldn't get it to dislocate at all... and he tried, I watched him.  The impingement syndrome that he thought might be a possibility last time doesn't appear to still be in the running as the pain culprit (due to the ball of the hip looking so lovely).  And the last thing Dr. Kim was concerned about (a blood flow issue common in folks with Down Syndrome) did NOT appear to be present on today's films (which is REALLY good because that is nothing he can fix).

The Bad News... See above.

Basically, the bad news is that there is no apparent reason for the pain that Josh is experiencing.  We asked all the questions we could think to ask, reviewed all the possibilities, discussed treatment of the possibilities that we had ruled out and then talked some more.  Dr. Kim said he could sense our frustration (ya think?) and asked us to be patient (ya think?).  He asked that we give things another month or so and, if the pain doesn't calm down, he will order an MRI.  He said it could just be muscular... and as we were riding home we thought back to when it started (or increased... because he has had pain everyday for a while but nothing like these past 3 weeks)... and we realized, it DID increase when he started getting sick with this icky virus that he's still harboring.  So maybe... just maybe... it will lessen and all will be well again.  That's our hope anyway.

The Ugly... Dr. Kim has lymphoma.  His lymphoma is the type that cannot be cured.  He is a good man.  He's humble and smart and honest... and scared.  He didn't say that, but the look in his eyes as he spoke, the gray hairs that have never been there before, the way he had to sit to talk and got short of breath... I could tell.  He spoke openly about his disease and thanked us profusely for asking.  He's not an overly talkative man but seemed genuinely happy that we cared.  Please pray for him.

Now, go love on your loved ones.  It's Valentine's Day after all.  Pull them close and tell them how much you love and appreciate them.  Do something special for them... even if it's only a compliment.  It's important.

Me & My Valentine
(Hawaii, 2005)

Jon put this old'ish photo on as my screensaver this week... to remind me of how much he loves me, he said.   We look young and well rested.  A lot has changed.  hahaha!!


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