Wonderfully Made...: Lucky...

So Abby said... "mom, what do you do all day anyway?"

My response (after I got over being offended that it wasn't obvious) was "cook the meals, clean the kitchen, clean bathrooms, wash the floors, wash the clothes, fold the clothes, vacuum, dust, organize, meal plan, bake, run kids here and there, keep track of appointments, clean for others, bake for others, wash windows......"

I think I might have named 20 more things in my rant in which I didn't take a single breath.

And Abby answered "you're so lucky!!!"

Hmmmm... so how come I don't usually FEEL lucky? I had to ponder that for quite some time. I'm still pondering. Oh, don't get me wrong, I DO realize how fortunate I am to be able to stay at home. I know that many moms do what I do every AND go to work outside the home (you have my utmost respect and honor because I KNOW that I would be looney... loonier than I currently am). I know that many moms would give their right arms to be able to be at home with their little ones. But mine aren't little anymore... should I still be here? Or should I be out pursuing a career? Making money? Becoming someone?

The Lord knows we need the extra income.

But, if I was working, I wouldn't have heard the story about Abby's science teacher today... and then take her temperature because she's not feeling well. I wouldn't have heard about what happened in Caleb's math class. I wouldn't have been able to get them a snack and listen to their rambling. I wouldn't have been able to stand on the stairs and watch Josh get off the bus... and hear him shout up the (long) driveway "hi mom, good day mom, homework tonight mom". I would have missed out. And we can't have today back.

Yes, some days are (very) hum-drum and yes, I do feel like I do the same chores over and over (and over)... but being here is important. When they were little it so busy (and loud) in our home. They PHYSICALLY needed me. I was tired. They made messes, ate a lot and someone always needed their diaper changed or nose wiped (I would give MY right arm to have that time back again).

Now that they are older tho, I think it's important to be here for them on a different level. I don't have to wipe their noses anymore (altho, I do still remind them occasionally), but I do have to wipe their tears sometimes... and that's important too. And they count on me. They know they can have a friend over after school without asking. They know that if they feel sick, they can call me and I'll grab them. They know that if they forget their homework, I'll bring it. I'm not sure they appreciate me yet... but I do know they count on me.

My mother in law is a beautiful example of what I want to be when I grow up. You can stop in at any time of day and it smells good. There are either cookies (or her famous yeast rolls) on the table cooling or something simmering on the stove. The music is usually up loud and she's singing and it's always warm... her home is always warm and inviting. And we can count on her. She will drop anything and pick my sick kid up at school, make them comfortable on her couch and feed them whatever sounds good to them. Or, when I forget Josh has a half day, she will get him for me when the school can't even get a hold of me (that may or may not have happened more than once). She's a stay at home grandmother... and a good one at that. That's what I want to be too.

So where am I going with this? I'm not sure. I guess maybe I just needed to type this all out to remind myself that it matters. Or perhaps I'm trying to convince you that it matters (unfortunately, even at age 43, what others think is still WAY too important to me... and we all know there are plenty of people who don't see the worth in being a stay at home mom). I'm thankful Abby made the comment the other day because it has given me something to thing about. To pray about. I want to be right in the center of God's will... and right now I believe that is at home. I AM lucky...thankyouverymuch.